“Domine, tu scis omnia, tu scis quia amo te”
– “Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you.”
This perhaps is my favorite verse from the Scriptures. I often pray with it, and I often find myself uttering it to the Lord in prayers as well. I love it because it was spoken in humility and sincerity from Peter - a man who fell from grace, betrayed his word, and denied the Lord whom he vowed never to abandon.
By the sea where Peter and his companions went to fish, the Lord came to meet them. He prepared breakfast for them. He called them over to share a meal with him.
By the charcoal fire which probably very much reminded Peter of the fire by which he uttered the denial of knowing Christ, Jesus ate with Peter. He neither asked for the reason why Peter denied him, nor did he speak of his failure at all. Christ eating breakfast with Peter demonstrated a simple fact: he had forgiven him.
After they had finished eating, Christ turned to Peter and asked, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” And Peter responded, “Lord, you know that I love you.”
Notice that Christ did not address him as “Peter,” the name that he gave him after Peter became his disciple. Christ called Peter by his birth name, Simon, and not only that, he also referred to Peter’s ancestry – son of John. For me, this fact is quite intriguing.
Jesus spoke to the very essential identity of Peter and asked from the core of his being the question which matters most to all of us, “Do you love me?”
The Greek term used for the word “love” in this verse is “philo” – the love between friends. “Philo” in this context is understood as the highest form of all relationships, deeper than that of husband and wife, of parents and children. It is the love in the friendship between God and humanity. Christ invites Peter to be in such a friendship, and he does so to all of us as well.
Throughout the course of my journey, I have heard Christ asking me the same question. “Martinô Hòang, con có mến Thầy không?” (Translate – Martin Hoang, do you love me?)
I must admit, at first, I felt uncomfortable answering him. For in oriental culture, the term “love” is not used casually. When someone says, “I love you,” it means something quite serious. For that reason, I was afraid to answer Christ, “I do love you.” I was afraid to enter into a deeper relationship with Christ.
But as my friendship with the Lord Jesus deepens, I feel more and more comfortable and sincere to say, “Lord, you know that I love you.”
Such response however was not said once, but it is and should be repeated every single day of my life. Because as I expressed my love for Christ, what I ought to do is quite clear – “Feed and tend my sheep.” Love for Christ ought to lead me to the life of service of my brothers and sisters. This task is not always easy; hence the need to repeat such conviction of loving him over and over again.
Just like Peter who uttered his confession of love for Christ in the midst of his own imperfections, I feel myself speak these words to Christ, “Domine, tu scis omnia, tu scis quia amo te.” I say them not with boastful attitude or pride. I find myself whispering them with all sincerity and humility from a person who is well aware of his own sinfulness and limitations. I say them in the hope that Christ would use my love for him, however limited it is, to enable me to be a humble tool in his hand for the service of others – hopefully in the priesthood.
Christ’s love places no conditions or demands. However, if we are to respond to his invitation to be in friendship with him, the path which we have to undergo is quite evident – Service. Will we love him enough to accept such an invitation?
My Lord Jesus Christ,
Here I am, your most unworthy servant.
Of all my brothers, I am the least.
This, by no means, is false humility.
I know of my past;
I know what I have done;
I know how unworthy I am to be here.
And yet, by your grace, I am.
Lord, before you, my heart is exposed.
I am yet a poor sinner,
Weak in faith
And wavering in determination.
All the honors the world places on me are as nothing.
Lord, I am nothing, absolutely nothing.
However of this I am sure:
Despite my weaknesses
I love your people.
I love the new born child, as well as the rebellious teenager.
I love the youngsters, as well as the aged.
I love the healthy, as well as the sick.
Lord, I love them all, and I want to serve them.
I know I do not have much, what I do has been given to me.
I am willing to give it all for your people.
Lord, I am yet a poor sinner.
I feel like I don’t deserve to ask you anything.
I have not loved you nearly as much as I should.
Lord Jesus, I realize that I am empty, completely empty
So, fill me with what I lack.
Come!
Overtake me!
Use me as your least useful tool.
I desire to be used in your hands.
Of you I ask only one thing
“Da mihi animas, cetera tolle –
Give me souls, O Lord, the rest, take away!”
Amen.
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