This reflection will contain a considerable amount of my personal life. I did feel rather hesitant; nevertheless, I thought that, for the sake of the Gospel, sharing a bit of my vulnerability would not be too detrimental.
I would like to begin with this little story which I came across a few years ago. It proved to be very meaningful to my life much later,
I was given a beautiful mountain bike for my birthday. One time, I took it down to the park for a little ride. There, I met a boy who kept staring at my bike with interest and admiration.
- Is this bike yours? He asked.
- My brother gave it to me for my birthday. I replied, unable to hide a hinge of pride and satisfaction.
- O, I wish… - He muttered.
Of course I knew what he was wishing for. Definitely, he was wishing that he would have a cool brother like that. But, what came as the boy’s response astounded me beyond telling.
- I wish I could become a brother like that! – He spoke slowly with a face filled with evident determination. Then, he walked toward the bench behind me where a little crippled boy was sitting and said to the boy:
- On one of your birthdays, I will buy you an electronic wheelchair. Ok?
Ever since I set my heart on following the Lord in this wonderful journey of vocation to the Priesthood, there have been countless trials which my family had to face. Starting when I told my mom that I truly wanted to be a priest, everything went downhill. We began to face episodes of financial difficulties. I, from being a little spoiled prince who could get anything I wanted, had to learn to work and support myself studying in the States. My mother and I are now as poor as we can be in this country without being homeless; even that also is a constant threat…
For the last two years, most of my stipends and other monetary gifts have been used to help mom out with rents and bills. I settled to live with about $50 a month. With such a limited amount of money, I was not able to get many things which I wanted. Admittedly, there was a period of time when I was not particularly happy with such a condition. It did get quite more difficult when all about me, my peers and classmates could just spend their money as they wish without having to worry about anything else. Even though I realized what I had been doing was a noble and loving sacrifice, I have to confess I did wish things could have been different.
At times, I found myself complaining words that were similar to the workers of the vineyard in today’s Gospel. I found God to be unfair. I found God to be unfair when he allowed those who I thought did not deserve wealth to prosper while good people had to suffer. Perhaps, some of us can identify with my thought then.
Almost too subtle to realize, but I placed a contract to my dedication to the Lord. I gave him my life; he then, in turn, ought to take good care of us. Don’t we do the same to God sometimes? We treat him as if he was an ATM machine. We pray a bit, and then, we expect God to return the favor…
A few weeks ago, my friend introduced me to the show House. As I watched one of the episodes from the first season, the story line reminded me so much of my own condition as well as the story I mentioned above. It was the story about a young teenage boy whose mother was severely ill. She was not at all able to take care of herself, and so the burden of the household’s affairs and her health fell upon the young boy’s shoulders.
Then one day, the mother collapsed and was brought to the hospital where Dr. House worked. The boy was by his mother’s side night and day taking care of her. Despite of his young age and the challenges of his life, the boy remained steadfast to his duty attending to his mother’s needs.
Seeing him sitting in his mother’s hospital room reminded me of myself sitting on a similar hard chair next to my mother’s bed all night.
So similar was the situation, yet the boy proved to be a better man. Whenever he was asked, he always responded that he and his mother were perfectly happy the way they were. I, on the contrary, was bitter.
As I watched the episode came to a happy ending where Dr. House treated the boy’s mother to perfect health and they went home happily, I found a wish urging up in my heart. I wish…not to have someone like House who would fix all the problems for us. I wish that I could become a son and a man like that boy.
I suddenly realized that I had changed so much after four years.
I no longer wish things to be different. I wish to be different.
I no longer wish things to be better. I wish to be better.
I have learned my lesson. I have become so much more content.
Now, connecting what I have been talking about with the Gospel of this Sunday, we find ourselves facing two options. We can either be the complainers of how unfair God is, or we can learn to be generous as God is generous. We can choose to dwell in bitterness and anger with the conditions of life, or we can allow the tests to chisel our rough edges to become a better person.
The parable Jesus presented in today’s Gospel speaks of the kingdom of heavens as the manifestation of God’s goodness and love which embrace all despite how small our merits are. The parable also presents an invitation – an invitation to getting rid of the flaw of self-entitlement, as if we, at all, deserve anything. It calls us to a true sense of gratitude for the goodness our Master has shown us. Furthermore, the Gospel calls us to become ourselves this goodness and love which place no calculations and demands. Christ invites us today to strive to become the better persons He knows we are capable of becoming.
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